Diagnose me please
I think it's pretty serious but I am forbidden from going to WebMd.
Symptoms:
Headache
neckache
crampy feeling in my lower abdomen. On the right side, right at the bikini line.
No fever or vomitting
No dizziness
No double vision (although I am almost blind and need to get to the eye doctor)
unable to poot
And I lost three eyelashes
Break it to me gently.
Symptoms:
Headache
neckache
crampy feeling in my lower abdomen. On the right side, right at the bikini line.
No fever or vomitting
No dizziness
No double vision (although I am almost blind and need to get to the eye doctor)
unable to poot
And I lost three eyelashes
Break it to me gently.
posted by Bravie at 5:00 PM
38 Comments:
PMS.
Wait!
Maybe.
Maybe.
Nah.
Well......
*counts on fingers*
AHA! By George, I've got it!
You're....
You're....
PREGNANT!
No Momma, you're forgetting about the eyelashes. That can't be it.
Carey, because I love you, I take these things very seriously. I don't know how else to tell you, but it seems as though you are suffering from madorosis cervical spondylosis dysmenorrhea. I know it sounds scary, but that is only because it means you are dying. I'm really sorry.
Oh, and *smooch*.
I know I get most of those symptoms when I've had too much hot monkey sex.
Well, that's assuming there IS such a thing as too much hot monkey sex.
I think you have a severe headache (which is travelling into your neck) and a bit of an upset tummy. I hope you make it.
bird flu
Duh, you're old. Sounds like pre-menopause.
*runs*
Ummm... whack-a-doodle-itis! Yeah... that's it! *grin*
Ding ding ding, we have a winner.
Whackadoodleitis it is. I wasn't sure until I woke up with a sore throat. Now I'm sure.
Or I'm pregnant, or I have the bird flu, or I'm dying. I'm hoping I'm not pregnant with a baby monkey. Gus is enough. And I am ignoring those who call me old. *glare*
Yay! So what do I win?
You win Jon Bon Jovi. He is waiting for you in the other room.
But he has whack-a-doodle-itis and you'll have to clean the toilet up.
Woo hoo!
*runs to the other room*
Don't tell her that, SS. Now she will think that I have been messing around with him and caught it from him.
ha! I like Breezy's answer.
Well screw you too. Hrmph.
Ectopic pregnancy. This says so, and surely it can't be wrong:
http://www.ahealthyme.com/topic/abpainchart
(My apologies to Michelle for showing you this webpage)
*sigh*
I knew it was serious. *sobs*
You lost three eyelashes!?!
Oh.
My.
Gawd.
That was the scariest part, Swami. And I found another in the sink this morning. That's four in two days. This can't be normal.
Since when are you normal?
*glare*
You know, if you put enough mascara on your eyelashes kind of gloop together and then they never fall out.
No, then they fall out in clumps. Waaaaaah.
Monsty seems to think that I am ovulating and stressing. I'm wondering where she got her PhD.
Internet overdose and a seafood allergy.
Diagnosis: Too much squatting over the litter box *giggle*
The Swami diagnoses hypochonriosis. But you knew that already, didn't you?
The only known treatment for hypochondriosis is oral alcohol. Or oral sex. Whichever.
In my experience, the one usually leads to the other. *grin*
1. PMS
2. Goth has obviously been reading too much of my blog. Hot monkey sex indeed.
3. The reason you are losing so many eyelashes is that you need to make wishes. I would start with wishing that your PMS would go away.
You're ovulating. That little crampy ache in your right side is the egg trying to break free.
Oh, and you ate too much poutine, which is why you can't go.
Don't you dare google yourself. We have an agreement. Hypochondriacs should be cut off from google. We should be de-googled.
*headbutt*
You crack me up.
I'll jump in the PMS bandwagon.
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