*sigh*

I'm just going to ramble for a bit. I sorta don't want to do it here but I sorta do. So pardon me for a minute while I babble out loud.

*sigh*
I'm not really sure why I let it get to me. Especially when it comes from people who I don't know. I think I have pretty thick skin. I mean, I am great at dishing out the jokes and unless I am PMSing, I think I'm pretty good at taking it back. I'm almost always the first to make fun of myself and I'm almost always the first to agree when someone else is making fun of me in a light manner.
FTR: yes, I have smoked one and yes I have had a couple of drinks and yes, I realize it is only 3:45 in the afternoon. It's Friday, I'm allowed.
Moving on...Where was I? Oh yes, joking, thick skin blah blah blah.
I have known since I was a child that I was "different". And I have known since I was aware of what sexuality was, that I had tendencies. I spent most of my youth being called names like "butch" or "dyke" or "homo". Of course it used to hurt my feelings. So to counteract that feeling I was less than discretionary when it came to dating and sleeping around. I might not have gotten the popular boys but at least there were boys who were attracted to me. Or at least such losers themselves that they would date me just so they could say they had someone. At least I felt less lonely.
As I've gotten older, I've grown more comfortable with my awkwardness. I'm not pretty, I don't have a nice body and I don't fall to the feminine side of the fence. But that's okay. I'm comfortable with who I am and what I have to offer. When i am with a group of women, I know that I will not be the one in the bar who will get hit on or picked up.
All of that was a long way of explaining that I really do have pretty thick skin.

So why do I get so upset when people want to interefere with my lifestyle? Why do I care if people like Rudy or Cygnus or PRE want to throw their God in my face? Why does it have my blood boiling that Cyg would go into Syren's blog and spew his bigotry. I know that these three are bigots (even if they deny it and even if they try to hide behind their religion) and I know that there are more like them out there in the world.
I'm actually pretty okay with those who believe that the word "marriage" should be saved for straight people. I don't agree with that view but I don't hate those who do. My own Father believes that marriage should remain between a man and a women. He does however believe that I should have all of the equal rights and benefits. He just wants it called a "civil union" rather than marriage. I disagree but I can live with that for now.

I know this is a dead horse. Too bad. This is also my blog. So if I want to beat a dead horse, so be it.

If gays will ruin traditional marriage, then why isn't divorce outlawed?
If the purpose of marriage is for breeding, then why aren't we arresting couples who get married and don't have children?
Why aren't we forcing childless couples to take in the poor and unwanted children of the world?
Why aren't we taking children away from single parents and putting them in traditional marriage homes?
Why aren't there contracts written up that couples have to sign before they get married, agreeing to raise children?
Why do the people who feel that marriage must go by the law of God and the bible, not feel as if they should live every single word of the bible and God?

And what happened to the separation of church and state?
Isn't marriage really just a civil union? I mean, not everybody is married in or by a church.
Why can't I just go to city hall like many straight couples and sign a piece of paper and make my and Michelle's relationship legal? I'm not asking the church to recognize it.
*sigh*
I have about four million things going through my head about this. But the one that comes to the surface the most is that it just hurts my feelings to be part of a group that seems to be so hated and mistreated and unloved. And why do I care about the fact that people don't like my lifestyle. Because the truth is, 99% of the time, I really don't care what people think of me.
Oooooh, it just hit me. I care because people are hating me and restricting me without knowing me. I think that's it. Hmmmmm. Now I'm going to go smoke another one and remind myself of why I shouldn't give a crap. Except for the fact that my government and the bigots remind me on a daily basis that I am different and I am bad and I have no purpose for living.

Edited to add this photo for my own bizarre reasons. Edited to take the photo out because it fucked everything all up.