What a difference a year makes

Whew, has it ever been a year. A year ago today I was on my way home from my trip to Canada with Breezy and Lightsy. A year ago today I was on my way home to a job that I hated and a wife who was about to leave me. I was returning to a very unsatisfactory life. A life where most days I didn't care if I even got up in the morning. I felt anger and resentment and boredom and a general feeling of an unsatisfactory life. I had emotionally disconnected myself from most people in my life even if I was in daily contact with them. I didn't see much hope and for the most part wanted to retreat back to the days when I numbed myself with drugs, booze and casual sex.
Today, one year later, I am frightened beyond any words that I can express. Today I gave my notice at a job that I have held for 13 years. Four of those years have been tolerable at best and miserable at worst. Today I took a step towards a new way of life in my career. I am both excited and scared.
Today, my sister in law gave birth to a baby boy. I can't tell you the range of happiness that I have gone through. The excitement of finally being allowed to talk about my new adventures with my coworkers and my friends and my family. And then the excitement of becoming an Auntie again. What a fresh new day today has been. I am not going into a lot of detail about why the birth is such a relief but let me just say that we are all relieved that both baby and Mom are healthy. *sigh of relief*
Today, a year later, Michelle and I are probably in the best place that we have been in a long, long time. We communicate better, we relate better, we love better, we get along better. We have re learned the art of respecting one another.
Coming home last year was terrible. I truly did not want to return home. Partly because I had such a great time with my two friends but partly because I knew in my gut that I was coming home to a wife who had checked out. I finally decided that I needed to get into therapy. I wasn't big on this idea but I have to say that it has been one of the best decisions I have ever made. It's just nice to talk to someone who doesn't make me feel as if she is judging me or who has no connect to the things that I talk about. I feel like I am a better person. I feel as if I have better relationships with those around me. I'm closer to Michelle, closer to my family, closer to my friends. Even the rocky relationship that Breezy and I had has improved 100%. Some may know, some may not, that Breezy and I have had a rough road on our friendship. I think we both stuck it out because we knew that when we got to other side of that rocky road that we were going to have an incredible friendship. I'm so glad that we've stuck it out and come out the other side with such a great friendship.
Even the friendships between me and some of my friends here have improved. I find that I want to spend more time with them and that I enjoy the time that I do spend with them just a little bit more than I used to. Maybe it took almost losing everything in my life to realize that I better start to cherish the life that I have. Because it is a pretty damn good life that I have.
And that scares me to no end.