Hurt Feelings
Well, I said I was going to blog and so here I am. I have some fun life events but right now I want to just get this off of my chest. I have told the unedited version to a couple of people but I am going to do sort of an abridged version here.
A couple of weeks ago I was hurt badly by someone who I had considered to be like family to me. We got into a heated argument and the end result was she went to a place that friends shouldn't go. She took one of my biggest insecurities and threw it in my face. As a result I am left unsure of what to do about it.
We have been friends for over 20 years and she happens to be my ex, Michelle's ex and Michelle's lifelong bestfriend. Talk about the Gays of our Lives. *grin* All of that aside, over the years she has grown to be what Michelle and I both would consider to be family. She has very little family and we have always said that when her family is gone we will share our family with her.
So she does this extremely hurtful thing to me and I am not sure how to handle it. I want to be adult about it but I also want to make sure that I stand up for myself. I can't exactly just walk away from our friendship because she is Michelle's best friend and I in NO way want Michelle to feel uncomfortable nor do I want her to lose her friend. Michelle shouldn't have to choose between the two of us so cutting her out of my life is not an option. I don't even secretly want that.
Maybe time will heal this, I don't know. I do know that I can no longer trust her, ever, because she went to a place where I do not think friends should go if they are really friends. Some things should be sacred between friends even in arguments and she broke that trust forever. I guess I will just have to wait and see how I feel the next time we are around each other in person.
It really sucks to lose someone who you thought was one of your closest friends. :(
A couple of weeks ago I was hurt badly by someone who I had considered to be like family to me. We got into a heated argument and the end result was she went to a place that friends shouldn't go. She took one of my biggest insecurities and threw it in my face. As a result I am left unsure of what to do about it.
We have been friends for over 20 years and she happens to be my ex, Michelle's ex and Michelle's lifelong bestfriend. Talk about the Gays of our Lives. *grin* All of that aside, over the years she has grown to be what Michelle and I both would consider to be family. She has very little family and we have always said that when her family is gone we will share our family with her.
So she does this extremely hurtful thing to me and I am not sure how to handle it. I want to be adult about it but I also want to make sure that I stand up for myself. I can't exactly just walk away from our friendship because she is Michelle's best friend and I in NO way want Michelle to feel uncomfortable nor do I want her to lose her friend. Michelle shouldn't have to choose between the two of us so cutting her out of my life is not an option. I don't even secretly want that.
Maybe time will heal this, I don't know. I do know that I can no longer trust her, ever, because she went to a place where I do not think friends should go if they are really friends. Some things should be sacred between friends even in arguments and she broke that trust forever. I guess I will just have to wait and see how I feel the next time we are around each other in person.
It really sucks to lose someone who you thought was one of your closest friends. :(
posted by Bravie at 5:54 PM
7 Comments:
She made fun of the 49ers, didn't she?
I am glad you can be honest with yourself about this. You are such a grown up. When did that happen?!
Time will likely heal, but it may never be the same. And she needs to know that. She crossed a line and doesn't deserve your close friendship after that. You can accept she's around, but you don't have to make her feel warm and fuzzy. Sounds like you know when it's best to swallow your feelings for Michelle's sake, but know which walls are ok to have up. *hugs*
Sorry to hear that, Carey. You are right that you can't cut her out of your life. It is very big of you to recognize that. (I'm proud of you.) You can put a bandaid on it for now, but eventually you'll have to let it air out. Healing deep wounds is a process that can take a long time.
::hug::
Well for now my update is that there is no update.
When she brought Michelle home last night from the tennis matches she came upstairs. I'm not sure if she came up for a reason or to see if I would bring something up, or what. She didn't pee, she didn't get anything to drink she just sat on the couch. So I imagine she was checking my mood. Sorry, I was watching the 10th inning of a crazy baseball game and didn't have the time to engage so I never said a word. Michelle didn't mention if they had talked and I didn't ask. So see? my update is not yet much of an update. LOL
How sad. But I think you're doing everything right here - for yourself & for yourself with Michelle.
Only time will tell if this is a wound time can heal.
Just remember that we all have said things that we wish with all our hearts we can take back. Stupid things said in the heat of the moment that the very next milisecond we think "why the hell did I go there". So I'm just saying, maybe you can let her earn the trust back.
Love you muchly.
I'm so sorry you were hurt. It sucks when the people we care about the most disappoint us.
Kim is right...time can heal but it won't be the same. It doesn't mean you two can't be friends, but if you just don't trust her anymore than you are the one who determines the level of friendship.
You are doing the right thing, which is to keep Michelle's feelings in mind.
And I bet you $100 she totally regrets saying what she said. She probably just doesn't know how to tell you that.
Love you!
Hey, you're here!
I'm so sorry about your friend. I've been there. It hurts, and it sucks.
Does Michelle know?
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