Just stuff
Ozzy has been cremated and is now in a mini pyramid urn in the living room. I don't know why I find this to be kinda humorous. Yesterday he was in a bird's body, today he is ash in a pyramid. I'm not big on cremation. I was all for it until my first grandparent was cremated. I then suddenly had some weird aversion to it. Bury me whole, please. And I want my headstone to read as follows:
Carey ######
1966-20**
Oh Fuck!!! I'm dead
from hypochondria
Please God, tell me that Katherine McPhee is over 18. She has some great hips and um well other nice assets as well. Ooops, sorry, I had to wipe the drool off of myself.
Speaking of drooling, Tim McGraw was on Ellen today. Tasty he is. The things I could do with him and Katherine, oh my. *dreamy sigh*
My boss was very happy with my S.O.P. manual. He complimented me muchly. Michelle thinks I should have charged them for the time that I worked on it at home. I was perfectly happy with the praise instead of the money. And let's be honest, I think we can all agree that I waste enough company time on the internet that I'm not about to charge them for a few hours of work that I did at home. I feel we're even.
I got on a scale today. When I saw how much I weighed, I think my exact words were "fuck me freddy, I'm fat". Two years ago I went on Weight Watchers and lost 25lbs. I have gained 15 of it back. Gotta get serious about the weight loss again.
What is NOT helping the cause. One of Michelle's bingo dork friends knows that we like salami. She has a friend that works for a salami company. Michelle came home with 20lbs of salami butts and ends from her bingo friend. So now, not only am I fat, I'm breaking out too. I never break out. Salami and stress are the only two things that put zits on my face. So if you see me and I have a zit, ask me if I am stressed or if I have been eating salami.
Speaking of salami: Michelle knows whenever I eat garlic. She says that when I eat garlic, I smell like a salami. *snort*
Carey ######
1966-20**
Oh Fuck!!! I'm dead
from hypochondria
Please God, tell me that Katherine McPhee is over 18. She has some great hips and um well other nice assets as well. Ooops, sorry, I had to wipe the drool off of myself.
Speaking of drooling, Tim McGraw was on Ellen today. Tasty he is. The things I could do with him and Katherine, oh my. *dreamy sigh*
My boss was very happy with my S.O.P. manual. He complimented me muchly. Michelle thinks I should have charged them for the time that I worked on it at home. I was perfectly happy with the praise instead of the money. And let's be honest, I think we can all agree that I waste enough company time on the internet that I'm not about to charge them for a few hours of work that I did at home. I feel we're even.
I got on a scale today. When I saw how much I weighed, I think my exact words were "fuck me freddy, I'm fat". Two years ago I went on Weight Watchers and lost 25lbs. I have gained 15 of it back. Gotta get serious about the weight loss again.
What is NOT helping the cause. One of Michelle's bingo dork friends knows that we like salami. She has a friend that works for a salami company. Michelle came home with 20lbs of salami butts and ends from her bingo friend. So now, not only am I fat, I'm breaking out too. I never break out. Salami and stress are the only two things that put zits on my face. So if you see me and I have a zit, ask me if I am stressed or if I have been eating salami.
Speaking of salami: Michelle knows whenever I eat garlic. She says that when I eat garlic, I smell like a salami. *snort*
posted by Bravie at 9:09 PM
31 Comments:
My french friend Isabelle had her dog cremated. She has three small kids and needless to say, they could not comprehend their dog being in a small urn on the bookshelf. They all had nightmares for weeks.
I think I once blogged about how we at a dinner party and this woman was going on and on about the Catholic Church's position on cremation? It was painfully boring and in need of some irony or humor or something- so I decided to announce that when I was dead, I wanted to be cremated...except for my head. I want that to be shot out of a cannon. My neighbor Gretchen fell in love with me at that point and she loves to revisit that moment.
Not sure what to say about the whole salami thing. Go easy on it for Cod's sake.
*evil eye* Did you break OT?
So did you weigh yourself again after you ate your apple pie? *giggle*
Anyone finding the irony in the salami? Anyone?
Your last name is ######? Are you any relation to Fred ######?
I think that's her uncle.
I put OT on a break for the day. It was in need of some maintenance.
I was waiting for the salami jokes. *giggle*
What apple pie? *innocent look*
Do you know my uncle ######? What a small world. Bizarre.
*sniff*
Why do I smell salami?
I just found the irony, Zombs and LMAO. TYVM.
Michael and I were just discussing cremation the other day. Actually, I was discussing it. And I think he was listening. Our poor Jack is not well, and I brought up the subject of cremating him because I just can't even imagine burrying him.
Creamation FREAKS ME OUT.
Monsty, I think I may have just fallen in love with you as well.
My Kitty was cremated 4 yrs ago. I was initially devestated when DH brought the ashes home. I couldn't comprehend my beautiful Kitty reduced to a small urn. I'm glad I did it though. I'm all for cremation. I don't want to be in the ground with all the worms.
LOL at Monsty. I love that story!
LOL at the salami. If I saw a zit on your face, I'd be able to tell right away if it was from salami as your breath would give it away.
I love beef salami. Rarely eat it though. (not code *giggle*)
Kudos to you on accomplishing the manual.
I also think Tim McGraw is hot. However, only when he keeps his hat on.
I watched Idol for the first time last night since week one or two. Katherine McPhee is gorgeous! She has a good voice, too.
I'm kind of creeped out about cremation, too. I think it's a practical thing, but I'm not hip on thinking about my loved ones being incinerated. Not that rotting in the ground makes me feel a whole lot better, though.
zombs-I just realized the irony in the salami.
I want to be cremated. "Burn, baby, burn! Disco Inferno!"
Oh, and *whack!* You.are.not.fat. Not even close. Numbers don't mean everything.
*swalt*
*disco dances out of blog*
I now want my head shot from a cannon. That is freaking brilliant! I have always enjoyed shooting our potato cannon into a cornfield - head shooting would be even more kewl!
Cremation creeps me out too. My pets are all shrouded & buried with flowers planted on the graves. Altho, maybe I could dig up the dogs and shoot their skulls from my potato cannon. That might be fun!
Good choice, Carey, not charging for the time you spent at home. It is good to have a little "above and beyond" stuff on the table at all times. And besides, now you can be guilt-free about blog rolling!
And lol at the salami butts. Salami is bad enough, but salami butts!?! Ewwww!
Plus, the few people I know who worked in a sausage factory promptly gave up eating precessed meat forever. I took that as a sign so I almost never eat it either. Plus sausage often doesn't agree with me in general.
Two lesbians who like salami
+ a cremated bird pyramid
+ Tim McGraw and Kathryn McPhee
= only in Carey's blog.
Practice that disco so you are ready in June. I'll take you to a gay disco, Jen. *grin*
I try not to think about what goes into processed meat. I like Spam too.
LOL@ Momma.
I heard radio gossip on Katherine McPhee today that she is a scientologist like Tom Cruise. Has anyone else heard this gossip?
I hadn't heard that. But believe me when I say that I have no intentions of going to church with her. Or doing anything virtuous or holy with her.
FTR, I want a green funeral. I've said this before. Bury me nekkid in the ground. No box please.
Katharine gives me lesbian thoughts. But she is overshadowed in my fantasies because two of the sexiest men ever are still in the running. I would like a Bucky/Glowie/Chris sammich asap.
Congrats on the manual. Write mine now.
Scale? What's a scale?
I would like to, ack, nevermind, nevermind, nevermind. Very naughty thoughts.
Yeah, I don't think I'm getting on that scale thingy again. *pout*
I'm late and commenting before reading. *caution visual*
Michelle and Carey sharing the butt end of a salami
*visual closed*
My aunt pronounced at Thanksgiving that her dear department husband was around her neck (in her necklace). whatever!
While commenting I was reading Monsty's post - head shot out of a cannon - too funny!
Yes Lasann, Monsty's head out of the cannon always makes me laugh. I want to light the cannon.
LOL @ Carey. You mean your thoughts of her aren't pure? LOL!
Pure smut. :)
For the first time last night, I totally understood glowie's lust for Bucky. He looked so cute with a cowboy hat on!
*swoon*
oh, and I prefer cremation. I don't want worms or bugs on my body, tyvm.
Sure, Kim was talking about giant balls in her blog today so you just had to do her one better with all the salami.
I bet HD has nice dreams tonight. *evil grin*
Carey - you have e-mail.
I love that Monstah story.
DH and I both want to be cremated. I'd like my ashes spread around or used as fertiliser or something. I hate the thought of enbalming because why do we want to preserve a corpse? It's supposed to rot. I like Glow's nekkid in the dirt coffinless idea too.
I don't like salami. I don't want to know what goes into salami.
I would prefer a glazed donut, please.
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