My favorite blonde joke
This is my favorite blonde joke and the saying from it *looks up* as become a phrase me and my friends use often when one of us does something stupid. *giggle*
There was a woman who wanted to repaint her house, so she called the contractor and set an appointment to meet with him.
When the contractor comes to her house they do a walk-through and he asks her what colors she would like.
When they come to the living room, she tolls him that she would like a nice and warm cream color. The contractor writes something down on his pad then walks to the window and yells "Greenside up."
The lady gets a little confused, and they continue to the dining room where she tells him, "I would like a nice warm white in here, nothing stark." The contractor writes something down on his pad again , then walks to the window and again yells, "Greenside up!"
The lady is really confused now but still does not say anything. They continue to her bedroom and she says, "I would like a nice, cool, relaxing blue in here." The contractor writes something on his pad and again walks to the window and yells, "Greenside up."
The woman is now totally perplexed and says to the contractor, "Three times I have told you the color that I want, and you write something on your pad, then you walk to the window and yell greenside up. What is going on?"
The contractor replies, "Well, if you look across the street, I have four blondes laying sod in your neighbours yard."
*gigglesnort*
Today's post is for MM and Boo, they are my favorites today... and I'm sure they know why. So everyone give them big smooches and tell them "You go girl!".
Who needs some Bailey's in their coffee this morning?
There was a woman who wanted to repaint her house, so she called the contractor and set an appointment to meet with him.
When the contractor comes to her house they do a walk-through and he asks her what colors she would like.
When they come to the living room, she tolls him that she would like a nice and warm cream color. The contractor writes something down on his pad then walks to the window and yells "Greenside up."
The lady gets a little confused, and they continue to the dining room where she tells him, "I would like a nice warm white in here, nothing stark." The contractor writes something down on his pad again , then walks to the window and again yells, "Greenside up!"
The lady is really confused now but still does not say anything. They continue to her bedroom and she says, "I would like a nice, cool, relaxing blue in here." The contractor writes something on his pad and again walks to the window and yells, "Greenside up."
The woman is now totally perplexed and says to the contractor, "Three times I have told you the color that I want, and you write something on your pad, then you walk to the window and yell greenside up. What is going on?"
The contractor replies, "Well, if you look across the street, I have four blondes laying sod in your neighbours yard."
*gigglesnort*
Today's post is for MM and Boo, they are my favorites today... and I'm sure they know why. So everyone give them big smooches and tell them "You go girl!".
Who needs some Bailey's in their coffee this morning?
posted by Breezy at 5:05 AM
22 Comments:
*smooches* for Boo and mm, even though I wanted to be your favorite. *grin*
Baileys? Coffee? Yes please. Can I have it in that pitcher from yesterday? Oh. No one cleaned up from yesterday's party? Well. There's got to be another pitcher around here somewhere. She claims to have every kitchen utensil and thingie ever made.
*rummages thru Carey's cabinets*
I love that joke. If I had known this was "blonde joke" day, I would have grabbed one of Michael's Playboy. There's always a good blonde joke in there.
And I'm glad to be a favorite. I wonder if this makes me an official bully.
Hey look what I found under the kitchen sink!
What did you find?
Momma, tomorrows post will be for you. *smooch*
Where's all the blonde jokes? Come on people! Share! And then have a drink.
*gulps down rum and coke*
I'm not sure. I was hoping one of you could tell me.
THE PLANE IS ON ITS WAY TO HOUSTON WHEN A BLONDE IN ECONOMY CLASS GETS UP AND MOVES TO THE FIRST CLASS SECTION AND SITS DOWN.
THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS AND ASKS TO SEE HER TICKET. SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE PAID FOR ECONOMY CLASS AND THAT SHE WILL HAVE TO RETURN AND SIT IN THE ECONOMY SECTION IN BACK.
THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLOND, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO HOUSTON, AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."
THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT GOES BACK TO THE COCKPIT AND TELLS THE PILOT AND THE CO-PILOT THAT THERE IS A BLONDE SITTING IN FIRST CLASS WHO BELONGS IN ECONOMY AND WON'T MOVE BACK TO HER SEAT.
THE CO-PILOT GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND TRIES TO EXPLAIN THAT BECAUSE SHE ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY, SHE WILL HAVE TO LEAVE FIRST CLASS AND RETURN TO HER PROPER SEAT.
THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO HOUSTON, AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."
THE CO-PILOT RETURNS AND TELLS THE PILOT THAT HE PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE THE POLICE WAITING WHEN THEY LAND TO ARREST THIS BLONDE WOMAN WHO WON'T LISTEN TO REASON.
THE PILOT SAYS, "YOU SAY SHE IS A BLONDE? I'LL HANDLE THIS. I'M MARRIED TO A BLONDE. I SPEAK BLONDE."
HE GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND WHISPERS IN HER EAR, AND SHE SAYS,
"OH, I'M SORRY." AND SHE GETS UP AND GOES BACK TO HER SEAT IN ECONOMY.THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT AND CO-PILOT ARE AMAZED AND ASK WHAT HE SAID TO MAKE HER MOVE WITHOUT ANY FUSS.
I TOLD HER, "FIRST CLASS ISN'T GOING TO HOUSTON."
Did you hear about the blonde who took an hour to cook Minute Rice?
Did you hear about the blonde who got into the taxi, and the driver kept the "Vacant" sign up?
Did you hear about the blonde who was an M.D.--Mentally Deficient?
Did you hear about the blonde who thought nitrates was cheaper than day rates?
Did you hear about the blonde who after watching the ballerinas, wondered why they didn't get taller girls?
Did you hear about the blonde who went to a nudist camp for a game of strip poker?
Did you hear about the blonde who brought her cosmetics with her for a make-up exam?
A blonde quickly went out to her mail box, looked in it, closed the door of the box, and went back in the house. A few minutes later she repeated this process by checking her mail again.
She did this five more times, and her neighbor that was watching her commented: "You must be expecting a very important letter today the way you keep looking into that mail box."
The blonde answered, "No, I am working on my computer, and it keeps telling me that I have mail."
*snort* I love it!
What drinks shall we make today?
BLONDE: "Excuse me, what time is it right now?"
WOMAN: "It's 11:25PM."
BLONDE: (confused look on face) "You know, it's the weirdest thing, I've asked that question thirty times today, and every time someone gives me a different answer."
There once was a blonde who was very tired of blonde jokes and insults directed at her intelligence.
So, she cut and dyed her hair, got a make-over, got in her car, and began driving around in the country.
Suddenly, she came to a herd of sheep in the road. She stopped her car and went over to the shepherd who was tending to them.
"If I can guess the exact number of sheep here, will you let me have one?" she asked.
The shepherd, thinking this was a pretty safe bet, agreed.
"You have 171 sheep," said the blonde in triumph.
Surprised, the shepherd told her to pick out a sheep of her choice.
She looked around for a while and finally found one that she really liked.
She picked it up and was petting it when the shepherd walked over to her and asked, "if I can guess your real hair color, will you give me my sheep back?"
The blonde thought it was only fair to let him try. "You're a blonde! Now give me back my dog."
A blonde reports for her university final exam which consists of mainly true and false questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet: true for heads and false for tails. Within thirty minutes she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is still working furiously.
During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is happening.
"I finished the exam in a half hour," she replies. "Now I'm rechecking my answers."
I want....hmm.....Buttery Nipples, in honor of Bravie's Blog!
mmmmmmm good choice!
*mixes up a pitcher of buttery nipples*
My youngest brother told this when he was about 8 and the whole family was out to dinner.
What do you call a blonde cheerleader doing a handstand?
A brunette with bad breath.
I am sure you can imagine the absolute stunned silence which was followed by me almost falling out chair from laughing hysterically. The funniest part is he had no idea what the joke meant.
*snort* just more proof that kids say the darndest things. *giggle*
How does a blonde turn on the light after sex?
*
*
*
*
*
She opens the car door.
*giggle*
Hey! Did you bring cucumber margaritas to the party?
Cucumber margaritas for everybody but the blondes! (We don't want to confuse them...)
Yay!!!! I'm not blonde. *grin*
We have to save one for later for Frodis. She needs to pop that kid first.
I'm late to the party, and I don't have any blonde (or is it blond?) jokes, but I wanted to say Boo and MM are my favorites too!
*smooch*
That's hilarious! I'm taking that one to work.
Post a Comment
<< Home