Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Hurt Feelings

Well, I said I was going to blog and so here I am. I have some fun life events but right now I want to just get this off of my chest. I have told the unedited version to a couple of people but I am going to do sort of an abridged version here.
A couple of weeks ago I was hurt badly by someone who I had considered to be like family to me. We got into a heated argument and the end result was she went to a place that friends shouldn't go. She took one of my biggest insecurities and threw it in my face. As a result I am left unsure of what to do about it.
We have been friends for over 20 years and she happens to be my ex, Michelle's ex and Michelle's lifelong bestfriend. Talk about the Gays of our Lives. *grin* All of that aside, over the years she has grown to be what Michelle and I both would consider to be family. She has very little family and we have always said that when her family is gone we will share our family with her.
So she does this extremely hurtful thing to me and I am not sure how to handle it. I want to be adult about it but I also want to make sure that I stand up for myself. I can't exactly just walk away from our friendship because she is Michelle's best friend and I in NO way want Michelle to feel uncomfortable nor do I want her to lose her friend. Michelle shouldn't have to choose between the two of us so cutting her out of my life is not an option. I don't even secretly want that.
Maybe time will heal this, I don't know. I do know that I can no longer trust her, ever, because she went to a place where I do not think friends should go if they are really friends. Some things should be sacred between friends even in arguments and she broke that trust forever. I guess I will just have to wait and see how I feel the next time we are around each other in person.
It really sucks to lose someone who you thought was one of your closest friends. :(

Friday, July 16, 2010

Blog blog, bloggity blog

A friend of mine recently started a blog and I had the pleasure of reading it start to finish this week. It really reminded me of how much I used to blog and how much I loved it and how much I miss it. *sigh* If I only had the time that I used to have. When I took my new job almost two years ago it cut out about 5-6 hours of computer time for me. Remember the good old days when I had nothing to do at work but to hang out on the computer with my friends and spend so much more time at the places where I met and got to know so many people? I really miss those days.
I would really like to put more effort into blogging again. For the most part many have stopped coming here to my blog because I hardly ever update, so what's the point of coming here.
I've had so many different things that I have wanted to blog about. Mostly funny stories that I remember from time to time of things that have happened in my life.
My Mom always tells me that I should write a book of my funny stories. I tell her that most of my funny happenings in life come across so much better in verbal form than they do in written form. (Am I the only Giants fan who doesn't so much care for the orange outfits and Orange Fridays? Ooops, sorry, the baseball game is on and I got sidetracked.)
I am so easily sidetracked. *shakes head*
In any event, I would like to get back to blogging. I need to figure out a starting point and what I want to talk about when re-entering the blog world.
Hmmm, maybe I just did.